just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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