well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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