That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
