It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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