nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
