this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
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