nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
