Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
