She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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