Bisexual people are plain selfish.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Randomize
