mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
