He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Randomize
