Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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