I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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