They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
