I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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