I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
