So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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