I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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