You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
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