What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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