I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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