i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
