is your mom at the bar?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Randomize
