im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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