pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
