I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
