My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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