elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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