its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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