Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
