It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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