The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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