Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
