Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
