just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Randomize
