I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
