i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
