I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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