Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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