I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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