i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
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