It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
