This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
you mean i was at the winter classic?
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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