i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Randomize
