didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
