I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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