Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
