why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
one might say we're banned from that church
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
