Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
