I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
